What We Look At

Either the future is bright or no one wants to read about unheroic children and respectable adults.

Lesson: Don’t “[run] in front of the car to try and stop it.” Then again, he did stop the car and only suffered a broken foot.

Police officers “smelled methanphedimine [sic].” No mention of whether the hotel room was tidy. As for the unidentified woman, one commenter said “no I can’t,” but I’m sure that’s too few responses for statistical significance.

Chupacabra believers don’t buy “raccoon with mange” explanation.

Her mother died; their father died; he (allegedly) killed his brother. In other news, a drunk driver kills two passengers, and the churches are falling apart.

Andrew Koenig sweeps the popularity contest. Otherwise, Jay Leno and a fatal dragster race.